Listening the other day to the League Cup Final, it occurred to me that, of all the cliched go-to descriptions in the world of sports commentary, there can’t be anything less meaningful than describing a goalkeeper as “a good shot-stopper.” Begs the question, are there any ‘keepers to whom this doesn’t apply? No. But that would be to wilfully ignore the implication bound up in this piece of apparent praise. Might be good at stopping shots, but how is he at organising his defence? At instilling a sense of trust in his back four? How is he at commanding his box? At claiming crosses? Talk about being damned with faint praise. Being a good shot-stopper is the equivalent of having a great personality. And just how good a shot-stopper is the ‘keeper in question, Liverpool’s Simon Mignolet, when he couldn’t stop Fernandinho’s eminently saveable shot that opened the scoring?

It is only rivalled in the nonsense stakes by the notion that a player has been sent off for “denying a goalscoring opportunity.” Often, by giving away a penalty. Hmm. Strikes me that a penalty is a pretty clear goalscoring opportunity. Why ruin, at worst, or dramatically alter the course of the game, at best, with this twin punishment? Because the penalty could be missed? Tough. Because the player who would have been sent off could go on to score the winner, make a match-winning save or tackle? Maybe, but he could also go on to score an own goal or get sent off for something, in my book, far more deserving.

All of which brings us, in a roundabout way, to the weekend just gone and four early baths:  Arsenal’s Francis Coquelin against Tottenham, Everton’s Kevin Mirallas against West Ham, Liverpool’s James Milner against Crystal Palace, and Manchester United’s Juan Mata against West Brom. This is not a defence of their actions – all four should have known better than to risk a second yellow. Nor is it a criticism of the refereeing. Rather, it made me question whether the current disciplinary system is fair. And if not, how could it be made fairer? After all, what kind of a doctor gives diagnosis without prognosis?

My main beef is with the idea that two yellows equals a red. When the punishment for two yellows or a straight red is the same, at least in the short-term context of the match, it is surely worth considering. Is it right that two minor discretions (a mistimed tackle, taking off a shirt to celebrate, for example) equate to the kind of serious – violent, even – foul play that should result in a straight red card? It’s like saying two twenty pence pieces make a pound. Sure, a three-match ban might account for the extra sixty pence, but that doesn’t help the ten men during the rest of the match – or, for that matter, help them recover for the next game. It must be noted here that sometimes – as was the case with Liverpool on Sunday – having a man sent off can have the opposite effect. But that doesn’t mean that the course of the game hasn’t been altered, or that the reasons for this diversion are justifiable.

So what to do?

As kids, we used to have an orange card system for jumpers-for-goalposts games. Not only did it, for the most part, keep everyone on the pitch, it felt like a more ideal model of justice. It certainly improved consistency, cutting out the notion that, often, a second yellow is harder to come by. You know, those fouls that elicit a comment along the lines of “would have been a yellow had he not already been booked, Clive” – fouls like Eric Dier’s on Olivier Giroud, not long after Coquelin’s dismissal.

But we were just kids having a game in the park. There wasn’t millions of pounds (and hearts) depending on it. And we weren’t managed by Don Revie. When I put the idea on our football WhatsApp thread of introducing an orange card system to professional football, my pal Fraser cautioned that it would effectively allow for at least twenty more fouls per team, making it unwatchable – and more winnable for the most cynical teams.

He’s probably right, so maybe the next idea that came in, from my pal Colin, is fairest of all. He suggested that a player receiving a second yellow card should be sin-binned. Why not? It works in other sports. As, it’s also worth noting, does retrospective punishment. And penalty tries, for that matter. I have made no secret of my dislike of Rugby, but perhaps, in this regard, football could do worse than learn from its bastardised egg-shaped brother. FIFA have announced that trials will take place for video technology to aid referees, but perhaps, by focussing on the crime, we are neglecting to assess the punishment.